BY DUNGEON DAN HART
Every pirate has the need from time to time for a place to seek shelter. Whether it be from a storm, the King's Navy, a safe place to careen the vessel, or just to take a break from the rigors and stress of pillaging and plundering and be able to divide the spoils and partake of a li le innocent debauchery, free from the heavy hand and noose of the King's minions.
I was inspired years ago when I saw a shipmate Orderless Eye's Pirate Hideaway. I cleaned out my carport, enclosed it and I began the trek of creating my own special Pirate Lair. It is a place of solitude and fantasy, mixing the Golden Age of Piracy with a few modern conveniences. In the Dungeon Pirate Pub you will come across several different characters and many artifacts.
Harley Cross Bones
The Pirate Tiki Bar or Pirate Man Cave are the two most common examples of personal Pirate Lairs. I am Dungeon Dan BlackHart. I welcome you to my Pirate Lair, e Dungeon Pirate Pub.
Bilge Rat Bart is the overseer, bar tender, bouncer and jailer. He runs the Pub and dungeon with a lead filled monkey's fist and flint lock pistol. No shoot'n allowed unless it is Bilge Rat doing the shoot'n! He is helped in his endeavors by the Taberna Rooster. A mystical sort of old bird who likes his rum and will spur you in a minute if you ruffle his feathers.
Harley Cross Bones is a wiry fellow of small stature who is meaner than a hungry co on mouth snake. He probably holds the record for being tossed out on his boney head more than anyone.
As you walk through the Dungeon Pirate Pub with your mug of rum, you will see the dungeon from whence the name came. A place fi ing for those scoundrels who can't pay their bar bill. Our poor shipmate, who had no gold for his defense at trial, hangs next to the sign that says, Pirates Ye Be Warned. e crows be having a meal of what is le of the flesh on his bones. On the dock below is a chest overflowing with booty beneath the Jolly Roger. And of course Harley Cross Bones passed out before he could relieve the chest of its valuables.
The bar and Captain's table are the center of action in the Dungeon Pirate Pub. You are apt as not to see some roguish undead trying to barter for a mug of rum. Like the undead, known only as the stranger wanting to trade Jack the monkey to Bilge Rat for a night's worth of drinking. Bilge Rat told him the only trade would be if he took Davey Jones heart in the deal. Seems he wants to argue the point. You can sit down and have a meal and rum at the table or check the map for that last reported location of buried treasure. Maybe you want to sit at the barrel and catch up on the latest scu le from one of the undeads.
Past the dock on your way to the bar, you will notice the door to the Rum Locker. Also tacked upon the door are wanted posters for three of the most notorious pirates that ever sailed the seas, Barnacle Bill Bedlam and yours truly Dungeon Dan BlackHart & Kruel Kathy BlackHart.
You make your Pirate Lair your own, large or small, whether it is a converted garage, spare room, separate building or a Tiki Hut or Bar built on the patio. It is a place to escape the world outside and entertain shipmates. So get busy. You are only limited by your imagination. Before long you will be li ing a tankard and carousing with your shipmates in your own personal Pirate Lair!